It's Midnight

I am feeling quite verbose, and don't have anyone to talk to. William is running around the house like it's noon and time to go to the park. Rob is grumpy that I'm not "setting an example" by going to bed at a decent time. Ah well. The time for toddlers will pass soon enough, and I will miss them being small. I don't think I'll miss the temper tantrums, but I'll miss the cuteness. Quinn: "Moooooommmmmm!!!!"  Me: "No, Quinn. You're supposed to be asleep."  Quinn: "I AM ASLEEEP!!!"   hahahaha

I am feeling the urge to DO something. I have spent the last hour or so looking at all of the photo reference pictures I have taken over the past few years. I have references for fairy houses, battered & beaten warriors and indians, portraits, and practice sketches of all kinds of things from flowers to airplanes to flying. Every time I get on to blog, I feel that I should post a picture or a drawing. I am wishing I had something productive to show. 

I am also a little worried that by not sketching more often, I'm losing my skill. I want to be successful at this, not merely a dabbler. I KNOW that I have the capability of being great. But by not doing anything, that sort of gets sidelined. What was the point of getting a degree in Illustration if I'm never going to use it???  So I have been mulling over my references to try to figure out where to start. Honestly, I feel just as confounded as I did when I started. I don't know where to start. And don't ask me "what do you feel like drawing" because there are about a thousand answers to that.

I want to do a photoshopped piece of a girl looking into the mirror and seeing her possibilities, or seeing her beautiful self. I remember as a teen, whenever I'd look into the car window at night (usually while someone else was driving home from wherever we'd been), I always thought my eyes and lips looked like I was a model in a magazine. I don't know if it was the lighting or the way the windows were tinted, but I always liked my reflection at night. I couldn't ever recreate it in the bathroom mirror at home or in my bedroom window. But I was remembering that while looking at my daughters, and wondering if that could be a fun project to do with mirrors and photoshop. That doesn't so much involve a lot of sketching... just some thumbs and roughs so I can figure out an angle that will work.

I also really want to do a series of my kids. They love looking at pictures of our family. I very much wish to do a painting with all 5 of my girls in costume. Daria - Faith, Isabeau - Hope, Jada - Charity, Mina - Love, Quinn - Virtue.  I can see it... I just need to get the reference pictures taken so I can get out my paints and work on it.

And maybe some postcards. or another fold-out-book or something. And maybe illustrate a book about pixies.  Or tell the story about the tree in my back yard. it's got a great big door to fairy land in it. I have about a thousand ideas for Wheel of Time stuff... Fan Art... I went through and re-read the books thinking I'd illustrate them just for me. And then felt overwhelmed by the idea and gave up on it. Which was stupid. I still have all of my notes. I think I also became somewhat intimidated by the quality of the fan art that is out there. And while there is some very very good stuff out there, I have a voice also. I'm just not sure if that's where I want to spend the bulk of my artistic time at this point. Of course, the idea of illustrating some of my previous Amber campaigns is very intriguing as well. I'm just not sure where to start...

Oh look. My son has fallen asleep. I will get up tomorrow, unpack the last box of dishes, put some art on these oh so very bare walls (thus unpacking another one or two boxes) and sketch something. I WILL have something to post tomorrow.