The sum of my parts is made up of more than just me.
I have never been a girly-girl, but here I am, 38 years old, and finally loving table-cloths, flower arrangements, centerpieces, fantabulous shoes from justfab.com or steampunk or zappos... oooh, my heart flip flops when I see them. I bought a flat iron and love what it does to my hair. I am drinking more water to attempt to get my skin in better condition so makeup looks better.
I kinda like being a woman and girly and cute and fun. I can still be me... but the women who have influenced me have done so without even trying. They've simply just been themselves and my subconscious has seemed to absorb their essence and distilled it into a manifestation in my head. "the house looks plain. decorate. It's too cluttered, throw half of this junk out. here's an idea: how about everything in this one room actually try to match?" that kind of stuff.
Instead of just being grateful for my things, I feel driven to have them coordinate, match, look good. I want to build custom shelves and re-paint. While it's all an expression of me, it's amazing as I see influences from various people I've met and hung out with over the years. I don't think I'm trying to be just like them, but I do think I am trying to emulate something that I liked.
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