The Reality of Dreaming

"Photo by Chalmers Butterfield"

A few years ago I had a dream that has stuck with me over the years, more like a memory than a dream. It felt so real that when I woke up, I wrote it down. Not to make sure I remembered, but to have a record to compare against when the day came that it did happen.

It was a dream about the future. Not anything surreal like flying cars or anything like that. No. It was me living a day in the life of being old. 

I couldn’t tell you my exact age in the dream, all I know is that I was old. My eyesight had faded to mere pinpricks because most of my peripheral vision was gone or completely blurry. I had to concentrate to focus on any one thing. My hips hurt like nothing else I have experienced when I tried to walk, not even the pain I had when pregnant. This was old cartilage grinding on old bone, and it hurt.

Fear

Fear is a funny thing. It’s just an emotion. It’s that voice inside our heads, sometimes not even a voice. It’s a whisper. A niggling doubt. But sometimes it is claws twisting our insides into knots until we stop functioning. It can be paralyzing and completely destructive.

Winner!!

 Awwww yeah! I did that right there. I can't even begin to describe my exploding sense of accomplishment. I did it! I set a goal and I actually did it! I wrote 50,000 words in a month.

I wrote through sinus infections and flu and kids being sick, and some major back pain. So, you know, I'm sure that those 50,000 words need LOTS of editing. But the fact that they were there, that my 19 year old daughter came over and wrote with me nearly every morning, and that we accomplished something... I mean, WOW!

I'm not just a stay-at-home mom who has a few Footzone clients. I wrote a sizeable chunk of something. I am on that journey of self-discovery, and I'm enjoying the process. How cool is that???

So here's my wish that whatever journey you're on is just as fabulous. That the downs don't last as long as the ups, and that you finish what you start, whatever it is, so long as you love it! :)

NaNo Update!

I have spent the last 13 days writing, writing, writing!

In the mornings I work on the prequel to the novel I started back in April. In the evenings, I work on the novel I started back in April. That makes total sense, right? Two books, one month. Wheee!

Writing, NaNoWriMo, Etc

I have been working like mad to finish my novel. It's not done yet. But I'm over halfway done. Starting Thursday, I will be participating in NaNoWriMo - my plan is to work on my current novel in the mornings and work on the prequel in the afternoons. I will only be tracking my word count for the prequel, but I'm pretty sure this will be do-able. It's my first year ever trying, so we'll see what happens.

BICHOK!

Butt In Chair, Hands On Keyboard - (Thank you Howard Taylor for that acronym!) Although today it was Hands On Wacom Tablet.

Let me just say that I am absolutely superfantabulous at over-exposing and under-exposing pictures. Hand me a DSLR and I will manage to mess up the picture. I have a serious talent here, people!

Linkfest for Writing Tips

I have been wrapped up in writing a novel. It's not anything that's going to change lives or become a literary classical staple a hundred years from now. Nope, it's a soft sci-fi action/romance because that's what I enjoy reading best of all. And darnit, I got tired of waiting for another author to write it. My ESP wasn't broadcasting well enough, I guess.

Viewpoints

The way we see ourselves affects how we see the world. When in the depths of depression, it is very hard to find or see anything joyful or bright, while contrastingly, those who are filled with the deepest happiness feel no need to focus on shadows or gloom.

The fire within?

Some days I'm full of piss and vinegar, just raring to go and feeling like I can conquer the world. And other days... not so much. This week, being a birthday week, has been one of those ohmygoshIcan'tgoonanotherday kind of weeks. Today I MADE myself get up and mow the lawn because really, I don't live in a jungle. And as much as I want to be lazy, I'm sure the neighbors will eventually get fed up when the grass gets so tall my house is no longer visible. I thought I'd have enough energy to go back out and weed-whack or clear dead weeds after a short nap. My back muscles and body mutinied quite loudly when I attempted to get up off the couch.

But, I do have lots of other non-aerobic interests. I did go to school and learn a bunch of fun computer programs. So I decided to play around the rest of the day in Photoshop and my kids sat around and watched as I applied layer after layer and made the magic happen. I ran through some basic tutorials to re-familiarize myself with layer options and styles. The original in the tutorial looks much cooler than this one, and when I showed it to my mom, she thought I'd put dancing imps in the flames. Which makes me think that I probably should have; I can see them now that she pointed them out. I may work on that now that I can see it... anyway... While this is not at the professional level I'd like to be at, at least I remembered enough to get this far. Progress!

This is a Photoshop tutorial from PSD Tuts only instead of using pictures of actual fire, I played around with fire brushes.