Saturday, July 13, 2013

Testosterone Flicks

Can't sleep and am in the mood to make a list. So tonight's list is going to be about my guilty pleasure: testosterone flicks.

Testosterone flicks are a great way for me to vent my spleen without actually blowing anything up. And sometimes there's a really great kiss in there. Sometimes not, but that's ok, because explosions and good action are fun enough on days like this.

I'm a fairly cheap date for these kinds of things, but I'm still kinda picky about my cheesy action movies.

In order, here are my top favorite testosterone flicks:

1 - Speed (I ALWAYS skip the opening garage sequence, because that was just gratuitous)
2 - Fifth Element  (chicken, good!)
3 - The Bourne Identity (climbing down the building? pure awesome. Plus: Matt Damon)
4 - Lockout  (It's Harry Dresden in space! getting his butt kicked but still winning)
5 - White House Down (buying this as soon as I can, loved it)
6 - Skyfall  (best James Bond flick in a long time)
7 - Armageddon (Ok, so I have a Bruce Willis thing, so sue me. How is this an action flick? I dunno, but there's stuff going on in space, and that's good enough for me.)
8 - The Matrix (and a Keanu Reeves thing, but this movie rocks.)
9 - The Fugitive (Ok, ANY Harrison Ford movie could go here, really. Air Force One, Indiana Jones 1 or 2, Empire Strikes Back, Patriot Games...  I just happen to have The Fugitive and Temple of Doom on DVD, the others are all on VHS, so they don't get picked as often because I have to remember to rewind.)

10 - RED (yes, another Bruce Willis, but he keeps making movies I love!) *Edit: No way is this number 10. I think this ranks above Skyfall, because I'd rather watch RED than any of the others below White House Down. So this one is definitely out of order. That happens at 3 a.m.)

I'm kind of tempted to put Snow White and The Huntsman on here but... it's not the movie that I love, it's the music video for Florence + The Machine's "Breath of Life".  And I think I'm more in love with the whole idea of the movie. I want there to be a book so very very badly. The huntsman character is one I'm drawn to. I want to see inside his head, feel his pain and grief and his budding attraction for Snow. I want to see how Snow White evolves into the leader she becomes in the movie, but the movie made me much more interested in the evil Queen, because Charlize Theron is that awesome.  What does this rant have to do with action movies???? Nothing.

Moving on!

I suppose I could put The Avengers up there, but it's not a go-to movie for me, either. Although there is something deeply satisfying about watching Hulk take out Loki.

Maybe Independence Day? Nah, I don't watch it when I'm upset or when I think people are being stupid. (Yes, yes, I know. When it's everyone around me, the problem isn't them it's me. I know this. That's why I hide and watch movies or play WoW.)

I thought about putting 300 up there, but I watched that movie once and it was too much CGI, too much violence, too much everything. I like Gerard Butler, but I'd rather watch him in The Ugly Truth, and that starts a whole different list. Because I could put Twister on my action movie list, I guess? I love, love LOVE the movie Twister, but I have it categorized in my crazy brain as a chick-flick, and I watch it when I want to watch romance/rom-coms/relationship stuff, right along with While You Were Sleeping and French Kiss.

Don't ask me why, I never said my lists made sense.

I know I could put Die Hard up there, because that was a fun movie, but that stupid reporter guy annoys me so much that I end up more angry. I'd put Terminator up there if I had a copy of it.

True Lies!! I don't have it on DVD, so I haven't seen it in a loooong time, but it's definitely one of my favorite 'splodey' movies, too. Because the horse refuses to make the jump and nearly kills Arnold, which made me laugh. Plus Jamie Lee Curtis is awesome.Yes, I have to suspend all disbelief in anything, but I don't care, its fun to watch. So I guess this would definitely be my #11 if I had a dvd version.

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