Here are the three options I made for them. She and her fiance will take their favorite and mail out 300 of them to their closest friends and family. :)
Showing posts with label art. Show all posts
Showing posts with label art. Show all posts
Saturday, June 11, 2016
Save The Date!
I did manage to complete this project for my daughter! Yay!
Here are the three options I made for them. She and her fiance will take their favorite and mail out 300 of them to their closest friends and family. :)
Here are the three options I made for them. She and her fiance will take their favorite and mail out 300 of them to their closest friends and family. :)
Thursday, March 17, 2016
The Importance of Feedback
I write. I'm an artist. I footzone. I am an unrepentant creative spirit.
I earned a degree in Illustration, and am a couple classes shy of finishing a degree in Graphic Design.
I honestly and truly believe that I do these things well. Oh boy do I have my fears of failure, but it does not mean I believe I suck at the things I love. I can certainly do better and wow is there room for improvement, but I was blessed with talent and it would be disrespectful to my *self* to say otherwise.
One of the reasons that I have the confidence that I can be successful at these endeavors is because of the feedback I receive.
Yes, I know this sounds vain, but let me explain the difference between good feedback and bad feedback. Also, I would like to address how a person handles feedback and constructive criticism.
Firstly, in order to refine and improve, you have to be able to see the flaws and the areas to improve. As a rule, the creator is usually blind to many of these things. While it is true that artists are their worst critic, sometimes it is difficult to step outside of themselves and see the whole.
Due to this, it is vital to hear feedback from an outside source. Preferably from someone who knows what they are talking about.
Constructive criticism is NOT going to be 100% positive. If the writing, the portrait, the design or the artwork is a rough draft, a tight color comp, or something you may have thought finished, that feedback may not even be 50% positive.
In order to take the suggestions, ideas, and bluntness, be emotionally prepared to hear things like, "This doesn't work for me and here's why." "Do you have any other ideas or layouts that you might want to try because...?" or "This seems completely out of character, why did this person make that choice?" "The pacing here is very slow. I became bored and skimmed to the end of the chapter." Or "I really love how you did this, but it doesn't fit with how you did this."
KNOW you aren't going hear things that will proclaim you as a faultless god in your endeavor.
**Put on your emotional armor, have a notebook handy, and realize that the people you trusted to view this baby are not attacking YOU.
** Write down all of the suggestions and take notes on ideas. Things they say may inspire you while you're listening.
** Ask questions after they are done.
** BE WILLING TO LISTEN.
There will be feedback you feel is completely ludicrous. You'll hear stuff from folks who don't understand what you're trying to say. They'll try to change it to the way 'they'd" have done it or what they think you should be doing. Be polite, listen, and disregard what you don't agree with. Think very consciously about what they are saying before you throw it out, because sometimes it can spark a brilliant idea.
In that same vein, valuable positive feedback will tell you what you did great and WHY it is great. The most important thing is understanding what works and why it works so you can put that in your file of workable techniques.
Bad feedback attacks you personally. Disregard it. Seriously. It sounds a lot like, "What were you thinking??" "This is dumb, what a waste of time." "You kind of suck at this."
Bad feedback is vague. "I don't like it." "Oh, this is great!"
I'm sure it's possible to improve without hearing from outside sources, but it will take a lot longer.
If you are pursuing writing or any kind of artistic field, please, PLEASE, be open to honest feedback. It is the most frustrating thing in the world to tell someone why you feel a, b, or c isn't functioning as well as it could, and have them get defensive, angry, and attack. Don't be that person. Just don't.
Defensiveness makes your critique group walk on egg shells around you, simply supplying your wanted platitudes. That's a waste of your time and theirs. OR, they ostracize you. That sucks, too. Defensiveness will never help you improve. Ever.
If someone says, "That's not something I would ever read/buy/commission," take it for what they mean. It's something THAT PERSON isn't interested in. It doesn't mean it's worthless; it means they are not in your audience. There is no convincing them they will love what you're doing, and no point in getting hurt over it. Simply acknowledge their position and move on.
We all feel defensive about our babies. It's the nature of being a creative. The trick is to recognize the emotion, admit it to yourself, and tell it to shut up until you are alone. Vent it all you want at the wall, at a friend, or in a diary. When you're calm, look at your notes and get to work.
Boom, growth.
That's the importance of feedback.
--
The biggest reason that I believe my story is worth finishing is because of the comments and criticism of my critique group. They are complete strangers - er, they were to begin with. I have pages and pages of constructive criticism that I need to address for the re-write. Yet the positive feedback from strangers and from some very picky readers that I know - who I trust to give me honest and blunt feedback - is extremely encouraging.
Don't get me wrong, I will need a content editor when I feel confident in the draft. I will definitely need a line-editor, since my ability to type a coherent sentence or use correct words is obviously impaired now. Um, also my love of commas and apostraphes.
I have designed my daughters' graduation announcements and their wedding invitations. I've done High School musical programs, designed logos, and portraits. In *EVERY* project I have asked for and expected feedback.
I've worked with printers and professional designers on several of these projects. Their input was invaluable and certainly not always ego boosting.
I do not expect nor wish to be coddled.
I want to grow as much as possible. I expect every artist does. Accepting criticism is imperative to this.
I earned a degree in Illustration, and am a couple classes shy of finishing a degree in Graphic Design.
I honestly and truly believe that I do these things well. Oh boy do I have my fears of failure, but it does not mean I believe I suck at the things I love. I can certainly do better and wow is there room for improvement, but I was blessed with talent and it would be disrespectful to my *self* to say otherwise.
One of the reasons that I have the confidence that I can be successful at these endeavors is because of the feedback I receive.
Yes, I know this sounds vain, but let me explain the difference between good feedback and bad feedback. Also, I would like to address how a person handles feedback and constructive criticism.
Firstly, in order to refine and improve, you have to be able to see the flaws and the areas to improve. As a rule, the creator is usually blind to many of these things. While it is true that artists are their worst critic, sometimes it is difficult to step outside of themselves and see the whole.
Due to this, it is vital to hear feedback from an outside source. Preferably from someone who knows what they are talking about.
Constructive criticism is NOT going to be 100% positive. If the writing, the portrait, the design or the artwork is a rough draft, a tight color comp, or something you may have thought finished, that feedback may not even be 50% positive.
In order to take the suggestions, ideas, and bluntness, be emotionally prepared to hear things like, "This doesn't work for me and here's why." "Do you have any other ideas or layouts that you might want to try because...?" or "This seems completely out of character, why did this person make that choice?" "The pacing here is very slow. I became bored and skimmed to the end of the chapter." Or "I really love how you did this, but it doesn't fit with how you did this."
KNOW you aren't going hear things that will proclaim you as a faultless god in your endeavor.
**Put on your emotional armor, have a notebook handy, and realize that the people you trusted to view this baby are not attacking YOU.
** Write down all of the suggestions and take notes on ideas. Things they say may inspire you while you're listening.
** Ask questions after they are done.
** BE WILLING TO LISTEN.
There will be feedback you feel is completely ludicrous. You'll hear stuff from folks who don't understand what you're trying to say. They'll try to change it to the way 'they'd" have done it or what they think you should be doing. Be polite, listen, and disregard what you don't agree with. Think very consciously about what they are saying before you throw it out, because sometimes it can spark a brilliant idea.
In that same vein, valuable positive feedback will tell you what you did great and WHY it is great. The most important thing is understanding what works and why it works so you can put that in your file of workable techniques.
Bad feedback attacks you personally. Disregard it. Seriously. It sounds a lot like, "What were you thinking??" "This is dumb, what a waste of time." "You kind of suck at this."
Bad feedback is vague. "I don't like it." "Oh, this is great!"
I'm sure it's possible to improve without hearing from outside sources, but it will take a lot longer.
If you are pursuing writing or any kind of artistic field, please, PLEASE, be open to honest feedback. It is the most frustrating thing in the world to tell someone why you feel a, b, or c isn't functioning as well as it could, and have them get defensive, angry, and attack. Don't be that person. Just don't.
Defensiveness makes your critique group walk on egg shells around you, simply supplying your wanted platitudes. That's a waste of your time and theirs. OR, they ostracize you. That sucks, too. Defensiveness will never help you improve. Ever.
If someone says, "That's not something I would ever read/buy/commission," take it for what they mean. It's something THAT PERSON isn't interested in. It doesn't mean it's worthless; it means they are not in your audience. There is no convincing them they will love what you're doing, and no point in getting hurt over it. Simply acknowledge their position and move on.
We all feel defensive about our babies. It's the nature of being a creative. The trick is to recognize the emotion, admit it to yourself, and tell it to shut up until you are alone. Vent it all you want at the wall, at a friend, or in a diary. When you're calm, look at your notes and get to work.
Boom, growth.
That's the importance of feedback.
--
The biggest reason that I believe my story is worth finishing is because of the comments and criticism of my critique group. They are complete strangers - er, they were to begin with. I have pages and pages of constructive criticism that I need to address for the re-write. Yet the positive feedback from strangers and from some very picky readers that I know - who I trust to give me honest and blunt feedback - is extremely encouraging.
Don't get me wrong, I will need a content editor when I feel confident in the draft. I will definitely need a line-editor, since my ability to type a coherent sentence or use correct words is obviously impaired now. Um, also my love of commas and apostraphes.
I have designed my daughters' graduation announcements and their wedding invitations. I've done High School musical programs, designed logos, and portraits. In *EVERY* project I have asked for and expected feedback.
I've worked with printers and professional designers on several of these projects. Their input was invaluable and certainly not always ego boosting.
I do not expect nor wish to be coddled.
I want to grow as much as possible. I expect every artist does. Accepting criticism is imperative to this.
Friday, June 19, 2015
My Recent Art Project
I'll just preface this with a disclaimer: My first time working with a dremel. This piece is far from perfect and my design instructors would cringe. I couldn't figure out how to get the polycrylic to NOT goop up in the knotwork, so... I kind of want to just hide this in the closet and chalk it up to practice. So maybe it's a good thing he wouldn't come get it today.
Starting to dremel. This took hours. and hours. and hours. A - because I was learning to dremel as I went, B - because I was trying to figure out which bit worked best, and C - Because there's a lot of work to do.
At this point, I took it down to my father-in-law's house and we routed the edges. It was also at this point that I decided it was in the best interest of my elbow, thumb and forefinger to only dremel the knotwork.
Onward to the next stage:
I hope you can pardon the poor photographs, but I committed art! Poorly, but it got me through yesterday, so that counts to me for something pretty big.
-- Do you know how many layers of yellow India ink it takes to actually make something look yellow instead of the color of whatever was under it? At least six. I kept inking and inking and inking until it looked yellow instead of brownish green. Note to self: In the future put a white background under anything I want to ink yellow.
 |
| Laying down the gridwork and learning how to do celtic knots. My very first time doing celtic knots. I looked at a lot of tutorials. Threw in some steampunk gears for fun. |
 |
| Finalized the knotwork, added the raven, and decided on a lunar theme for the top |
Starting to dremel. This took hours. and hours. and hours. A - because I was learning to dremel as I went, B - because I was trying to figure out which bit worked best, and C - Because there's a lot of work to do.
At this point, I took it down to my father-in-law's house and we routed the edges. It was also at this point that I decided it was in the best interest of my elbow, thumb and forefinger to only dremel the knotwork.
Onward to the next stage:
 |
| Sanded, stained, and raven outlines inked in. The raven looked like a chicken at first, and I was mortified. |
 |
| Inked in gears and added the lunar phases |
 |
| Finished. Knotwork painted so it stands out, gears highlighted, raven done. The zeppelin specs were not part of the original idea, but the feather pen I painted on looked terrible. I probably should have darkened the ink on the specs and weathered the edges to make it fit in better. The raven was done with Acrylics over the ink. |
-- Do you know how many layers of yellow India ink it takes to actually make something look yellow instead of the color of whatever was under it? At least six. I kept inking and inking and inking until it looked yellow instead of brownish green. Note to self: In the future put a white background under anything I want to ink yellow.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Art and Obstacles
When I started this second art project, I had envisioned the body at the bottom as the left over char with some flames coming through, or perhaps just the hint of embers. Then smoke rising from it to become a flaming beauty rising from the ash, having overcome ... I don't know, whatever it was that caused her to burn to begin with. I can see it in my mind, beautiful and shining, with a dark background.
However, not being experienced with producing flames by hand, I had to do some trials. I don't know *why* I am showing you my process of thinking out loud, but here it is.
First thing I did was play with the shape of flames. And whether or not I should give her wings.
Monday, May 18, 2015
Wish List
What I wish for.
Because I like lists, and why not?
Because I like lists, and why not?
1- A tattoo. Not the money for the tat, because I'd spend it on my kids. But a booked, pre-paid appointment for some time ON my birthday to get it done. Because that is a day I'm neurotic and could totally handle all the pain.
2- Hot press water color paper. A big stack of the 18x24 (or something close/bigger) kind. Or heck, even two or three of the big sheets.
3- An accessory bit kit for my dremel. I love to work with wood, and I'd really like to have some of the fun bits to go along with my favorite power tool.
4- More paint brushes. Both oxhair and synthetic
5- More goauche paints. I love they way they interact with ink.
6- A variety of nibs for my inking set.
7 - Additional colors of India Ink for my inking set. I'd REALLY like some of the metallic golds and silvers and blues. Those are yummy.
8- The program Poser for more accurate figure drawing
9- A few more of the 18x24 drawing pads
10- Two or three more of the good sketchbooks. The kind with the GOOD paper.
11- A marker set. You can laugh, but I want the good markers. They're kind of awesome for color comps. But, in a pinch, I'd totally take a variety of Crayola. And they'd be just for me and I wouldn't share them with my kids, because MINE.
12- A better mp3 player. I know, that's kind of dumb and ungrateful, but the one I have now is a sports one. It doesn't have playlists, shuffle, or even a way to view what I'm listening to. It just plays. I'd kind of like something that I can select what I want to listen to, have a couple different playlists for different moods, and variety. I LIKE variety.
13- A hair cut and color. Please, for the love of Helvetica, let me color my gray with purple. Or at the very least, carmel highlights. I really am tired of looking at the gray, and I like feeling pretty.
14- A pedicure. Those are lovely. No calluses, beautiful toes, and a foot massage. mmmmmm
15- New jeans, pretty please. I have ONE pair I can wear. They are already starting to wear on the inner thighs.
16- My piano tuned.
17- Some silver and turquoise jewelry.
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Huh. Ribbons. I seem to love them.
Yep, ribbons. I can't explain it, I just seem to have a thing for them right now. So ok, a ribbon it is.
A firey, flamey golden ribbon if I have anything to do with it. I'm mostly happy with this sketch. It's not perfect, and I see a couple of places where I need to exaggerate the ribbon, but that's all fixable.
Now, I get to transfer this to tracing paper to do color comps. I want to make sure I have the idea for the flames right *before* I start inking.
I wish, wish, wish I could photoshop bits of this image so I could move them and re-angle parts of them. Either I'm too lazy to erase all of it and start over, or I just need to leave them as is and make it work.
Now, I get to transfer this to tracing paper to do color comps. I want to make sure I have the idea for the flames right *before* I start inking.
I wish, wish, wish I could photoshop bits of this image so I could move them and re-angle parts of them. Either I'm too lazy to erase all of it and start over, or I just need to leave them as is and make it work.
Friday, April 24, 2015
Being an Art Student
I have a degree in Illustration. That means I went to school and took all kinds of art classes, including *gasp* figure drawing classes. Yes, most of the models were *louder gasp* nude.
There are several members of my family who consider all of those drawings porn.
I have never understood why. Seriously, Porn? Because I'm learning how to draw the human figure accurately? I'll be honest, while in those drawing classes, I was barely aware that it was a nude person up there while I was drawing.
I was focused on 'how does this muscle shape and curl around that bone?' 'what is the proportion of that leg to the torso?' 'if that's the shape they'er making, how exactly is the spine curving and what do I do to draw the pelvis correctly?'
It is/was all about accuracy, shadows, light, form, proportion, and how to blend charcoal and oils into accurate renderings.
Porn...pbbbth. Instead, I have a reverence for the beauty of the human body. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Now... if I were drawing something specifically to evoke a sexual response in someone, then sure, you could call it erotica or porn. Otherwise, TALK TO THE QUACKING HAND.
This is all in preface to my new art project. Because OMG nudity. *sigh*
So I'm a little annoyed, grumpy, and irritated at having to self-censor my artwork on FB so I don't have to hear the lectures from well-meaning helpers. I'm well aware that I could post it anyway, but that's more of a headache and I'm under orders from my psychiatrist to avoid stress.
Therefore, I am going to post pictures here of my project as I go. It's therapeutic for me to not only pour emotion into my drawings, but to put all of that out into the nether. (As evidenced by all my previous soul-baring blog posts.)
Today, I'm sharing the initial sketch. It's very rough and very not perfect. It's going to be some kind of phoenixish/fire something. Don't ask me what those ribbons are all about, I have no idea. Maybe I was playing with partial modesty? They may stay, they may go. It's again related to emotions I can't really explain.
I'm not thrilled with the arms right now, and am doing more roughs in my sketchbook to play with form. Also: it looks like she's wearing underwear, I know, but that's how the hips attach to the pelvic area. It won't look like that when done.
Why then did I put in on the huge drawing board already? Because I needed to. It makes me itch to complete it when I see it there. And I have wonderful gummy erasers that fix anything needing fixing. haha :)
There are several members of my family who consider all of those drawings porn.
I have never understood why. Seriously, Porn? Because I'm learning how to draw the human figure accurately? I'll be honest, while in those drawing classes, I was barely aware that it was a nude person up there while I was drawing.
I was focused on 'how does this muscle shape and curl around that bone?' 'what is the proportion of that leg to the torso?' 'if that's the shape they'er making, how exactly is the spine curving and what do I do to draw the pelvis correctly?'
It is/was all about accuracy, shadows, light, form, proportion, and how to blend charcoal and oils into accurate renderings.
Porn...pbbbth. Instead, I have a reverence for the beauty of the human body. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Now... if I were drawing something specifically to evoke a sexual response in someone, then sure, you could call it erotica or porn. Otherwise, TALK TO THE QUACKING HAND.
This is all in preface to my new art project. Because OMG nudity. *sigh*
So I'm a little annoyed, grumpy, and irritated at having to self-censor my artwork on FB so I don't have to hear the lectures from well-meaning helpers. I'm well aware that I could post it anyway, but that's more of a headache and I'm under orders from my psychiatrist to avoid stress.
Therefore, I am going to post pictures here of my project as I go. It's therapeutic for me to not only pour emotion into my drawings, but to put all of that out into the nether. (As evidenced by all my previous soul-baring blog posts.)
Today, I'm sharing the initial sketch. It's very rough and very not perfect. It's going to be some kind of phoenixish/fire something. Don't ask me what those ribbons are all about, I have no idea. Maybe I was playing with partial modesty? They may stay, they may go. It's again related to emotions I can't really explain.
 |
| BLUE?? yep. I forgot to change my camera's white balance. Ooops |
Why then did I put in on the huge drawing board already? Because I needed to. It makes me itch to complete it when I see it there. And I have wonderful gummy erasers that fix anything needing fixing. haha :)
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Artwork
I spent some time yesterday updating my 'portfolio' blog. I don't think I'd use it to apply for a job anywhere yet, but I added a lot of the stuff I worked on last year before all of my creativity disappeared.
If you're feeling bored, you're welcome to take a look: vansoolenartworks.blogspot.com
If you're feeling bored, you're welcome to take a look: vansoolenartworks.blogspot.com
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Further progress
I'm so pleased that I have not only started an art project that means a lot to me, but have nearly finished it. It's taken me over 20 hours to work on this, and wow, it's kind of fun to see it evolve.
Day 3: I mixed gauche and ink together and painted the dragon. My 11 yr old daughter followed along and salted the paint as I worked around the dragon. I wanted to set the texture for the future scales. After all that had dried, I then went in and inked part of the butterfly. I wasn't sure how I wanted to do the dragon's head, so I left that alone.
Just a side note: That butterfly is NOT red. I can't get photoshop or my camera to get the pink and purple to show correctly, so... meh. You'll always see it as red digitally.
Yesterday (Friday April 17) I went in with ink and drew in the scales. And then, because my white gauche paint was all dried up, I mixed blue gauche and white acrylic and then used a small paint brush to add the white highlights to the scales. I am kind of pleased with the final effect.
Using the same blue, I colored in the butterfly. Originally I had in mind that I wanted the butterfly to look like it was merging with, or matching the dragon. But then I decided it needed to be it's own separate self. So I painted over some of the blue on the main wing of the butterfly. I just felt that the white looked better.
And then I did the head and horns of the dragon. It's difficult to see what I did with the horns in this picture, but I am pleased with how they turned out.
All that is left now is to add a background. If I had known what I was going to do with this when I started, I would have already had a background laid out. As it is, well, we'll see what happens.
I think this is one of the few colored pieces I have ever done that I am proud of. But maybe that's because it means something to me. I poured a lot of emotion into this one. It took a lot of patience and a lot of steps to complete.
I'll admit right now that patience in art is very hard for me, except when I'm working on a portrait. To learn that I can do it with other art is fascinating to me.
I have no idea which emotions I'll be exploring next. I have no idea if I'll attempt another dragon. Right now I'm going off my gut, and this is what came of it.
On a side note, someone offered me $20 for this piece. I am hoping that was a joke, because I sure laughed. At worst, it's worth at least $150. For me, it's priceless because of what it represents, and it is NOT for sale.
Day 3: I mixed gauche and ink together and painted the dragon. My 11 yr old daughter followed along and salted the paint as I worked around the dragon. I wanted to set the texture for the future scales. After all that had dried, I then went in and inked part of the butterfly. I wasn't sure how I wanted to do the dragon's head, so I left that alone.
Just a side note: That butterfly is NOT red. I can't get photoshop or my camera to get the pink and purple to show correctly, so... meh. You'll always see it as red digitally.
Yesterday (Friday April 17) I went in with ink and drew in the scales. And then, because my white gauche paint was all dried up, I mixed blue gauche and white acrylic and then used a small paint brush to add the white highlights to the scales. I am kind of pleased with the final effect.
Using the same blue, I colored in the butterfly. Originally I had in mind that I wanted the butterfly to look like it was merging with, or matching the dragon. But then I decided it needed to be it's own separate self. So I painted over some of the blue on the main wing of the butterfly. I just felt that the white looked better.
And then I did the head and horns of the dragon. It's difficult to see what I did with the horns in this picture, but I am pleased with how they turned out.
All that is left now is to add a background. If I had known what I was going to do with this when I started, I would have already had a background laid out. As it is, well, we'll see what happens.
I think this is one of the few colored pieces I have ever done that I am proud of. But maybe that's because it means something to me. I poured a lot of emotion into this one. It took a lot of patience and a lot of steps to complete.
I'll admit right now that patience in art is very hard for me, except when I'm working on a portrait. To learn that I can do it with other art is fascinating to me.
I have no idea which emotions I'll be exploring next. I have no idea if I'll attempt another dragon. Right now I'm going off my gut, and this is what came of it.
On a side note, someone offered me $20 for this piece. I am hoping that was a joke, because I sure laughed. At worst, it's worth at least $150. For me, it's priceless because of what it represents, and it is NOT for sale.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Arting Harder
As most of you know, I've found the lack of creativity and/or imagination very frustrating.
In the last two weeks since my attempted Walk of Doom, my meds have been changed, I've been on an emotional rollercoaster, and I've had plenty of time to think. And sleep. And think.
I think the new meds have started to work. I know this because this happened in my sketchbook a couple of days ago:
I was so excited I had to text the image to several of my friends. Because ART!! I ARTED!!!
And then the next day, this happened in my 18x24" Drawing pad:
And for reasons unknown to me, I pulled out my ink set and began inking, not quite sure where I was going, or what the outcome would be.
1: I was ecstatic that I had an image in my head to begin with
2: It came out on paper nearly exactly as I'd imagined it.
3: When I made it much bigger for my giant art pad, it STILL came out like I imagined it.
4: And for the love of Pthalo Blue, I was playing with color! Holy milestones!
SO COOL!!!
Now, just because my creativity has started to kick in, doesn't mean it's all the way back yet. I find myself going slower than I used to. I'm putting more emotion into this piece because there are some difficult things I feel, want, and dream that I cannot articulate. And as my brain connects or reconnects synapses and feelings and fingers, I find that I get emotionally exhausted as I work.
So this one is taking a lot longer for me to finish than normal, but I am ok with that.
I made a flub with the ink - my hand was a little wet, and the ink smudged on part of the... hair? wavy whatsits on the back? The next day I decided it looked cool and incorporated it into the picture with a damp paper towel, then inked over it.
Yesterday I bought colored ink for the butterfly. Today I woke up with an idea for texturing the scales of the dragon.
The important thing to me isn't how perfect it is, (because it isn't,) it's that I've made progress. Check it out:
The good student in me is screaming "AAACK!! Off Balance!! Fix it!!!" But the artist in me is insisting on patience. It'll get there. I know where and how the balance with the tail will be. I know where I need to adjust the inking on the tail. And Oh Holy Crap I hate that I inked the butterfly green. Ick. Double-ick. After I experiment with the scales on the dragon, I'll un-mask the butterfly and fix it, fix it, fix it. Because ew. And it's too close to the blue/black of the dragon ink. And it's just wrong. If I'm the butterfly in this pic --which I am I think-- I am NOT green. That is not my current color.
I'm not used to forcing myself to exercise patience in art. This is a new thing for me. But I kind of have to. After a few hours with ink and nibs, my brain says "Ok, done." And that's that. No more images, no more inspiration, no more ability to guide the pen in a coherent line or shape.
Part of my artistic self is still in hiding. I still can't envision someone else's dream or idea. I don't know if I could work on a timetable yet for the simple reason that I have no idea how long it will take me to finish my current project. I'm not even confident that I could draw something not related to my emotional state right now.
And that's ok. Healing, growing, and re-learning can't be forced. It comes when it comes. I think what's important here is that I'm trying. I haven't given up --on my creativity-- just because it got hard.
I still scribble in my sketchbook. I still attempt to work on my story, although no creative juices have started flowing in the fantasy/sci-fi direction yet. Which is ok. One project is good right now. I have hope that eventually I'll be able to regain all that I've lost.
In the last two weeks since my attempted Walk of Doom, my meds have been changed, I've been on an emotional rollercoaster, and I've had plenty of time to think. And sleep. And think.
I think the new meds have started to work. I know this because this happened in my sketchbook a couple of days ago:
And then the next day, this happened in my 18x24" Drawing pad:
And for reasons unknown to me, I pulled out my ink set and began inking, not quite sure where I was going, or what the outcome would be.
1: I was ecstatic that I had an image in my head to begin with
2: It came out on paper nearly exactly as I'd imagined it.
3: When I made it much bigger for my giant art pad, it STILL came out like I imagined it.
4: And for the love of Pthalo Blue, I was playing with color! Holy milestones!
SO COOL!!!
Now, just because my creativity has started to kick in, doesn't mean it's all the way back yet. I find myself going slower than I used to. I'm putting more emotion into this piece because there are some difficult things I feel, want, and dream that I cannot articulate. And as my brain connects or reconnects synapses and feelings and fingers, I find that I get emotionally exhausted as I work.
So this one is taking a lot longer for me to finish than normal, but I am ok with that.
I made a flub with the ink - my hand was a little wet, and the ink smudged on part of the... hair? wavy whatsits on the back? The next day I decided it looked cool and incorporated it into the picture with a damp paper towel, then inked over it.
Yesterday I bought colored ink for the butterfly. Today I woke up with an idea for texturing the scales of the dragon.
The important thing to me isn't how perfect it is, (because it isn't,) it's that I've made progress. Check it out:
The good student in me is screaming "AAACK!! Off Balance!! Fix it!!!" But the artist in me is insisting on patience. It'll get there. I know where and how the balance with the tail will be. I know where I need to adjust the inking on the tail. And Oh Holy Crap I hate that I inked the butterfly green. Ick. Double-ick. After I experiment with the scales on the dragon, I'll un-mask the butterfly and fix it, fix it, fix it. Because ew. And it's too close to the blue/black of the dragon ink. And it's just wrong. If I'm the butterfly in this pic --which I am I think-- I am NOT green. That is not my current color.
I'm not used to forcing myself to exercise patience in art. This is a new thing for me. But I kind of have to. After a few hours with ink and nibs, my brain says "Ok, done." And that's that. No more images, no more inspiration, no more ability to guide the pen in a coherent line or shape.
Part of my artistic self is still in hiding. I still can't envision someone else's dream or idea. I don't know if I could work on a timetable yet for the simple reason that I have no idea how long it will take me to finish my current project. I'm not even confident that I could draw something not related to my emotional state right now.
And that's ok. Healing, growing, and re-learning can't be forced. It comes when it comes. I think what's important here is that I'm trying. I haven't given up --on my creativity-- just because it got hard.
I still scribble in my sketchbook. I still attempt to work on my story, although no creative juices have started flowing in the fantasy/sci-fi direction yet. Which is ok. One project is good right now. I have hope that eventually I'll be able to regain all that I've lost.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Tattoos
My religion teaches that our bodies are a temple and that we should take great care of them. Tattooing is frowned upon, but it's isn't technically against a commandment or anything. Kind of like drinking caffeine. It's frowned upon, but isn't specifically forbidden - like coffee, tea, or alcohol.
forbidden. now that's a word. Makes my hackles rise. Because that's really not the word used in the scripture. Agency, people. AGENCY. It's a big deal.
(aside: I do not feel like capitalizing much of anything, so if your grammar nazi self is going off, suck it up. I'm having a day, and my correctness skills are hit and miss.)
so, as I've been struggling with this stupid brain issue and the corresponding ups and downs, I feel trapped. there are quite a few things about my life right now that have me feeling trapped. i will probably not ever be able to escape most of them.
which makes me want a tattoo. because if I can't really have freedom, I'd like to at least have the wish for it permanently etched on my skin. because inside my head, i dream of being free.
i'm not addicted to anything, so it's not that kind of freedom. I... well, i'm not going to get into the realities of parts of my life that are difficult and overwhelming. sometimes I'm fine with the situation. I've chosen it, I've accepted it, and I really shouldn't complain about it. But there are moments when I long to escape. And plenty of moments I wish for the freedom to choose how I feel.
So I want this tattoo. Or something like this. I love butterflies. I love the whole metaphor of escaping the cocoon, the ugly to beautiful, all of it.
yeah, i have family members who would probably be extremely disappointed in me for getting this done. some who would probably disown me. but right now, in this moment, I don't care about any of that.
and yeah, i'd have to go in and have this done on a bad day. on a good day, I just don't do pain. at all. on a bad day, well, pain is kind of my friend. it grounds me to my body. I can't really explain it. It's just easier to say that on the bad days I can tolerate a whole lot more pain than on the good days.
I want a tattoo. I can't afford one right now, but I want one of butterflies on my right shoulder. I'd like an ankle bracelet of vines - on my left ankle, and a bracelet on my left wrist of small dragons.
wishful thinking. I am not some stupid teenager getting my current boyfriends name emblazened on skin that will later be wrinkled and saggy. I'm a middle-aged mother of six going through some freaktastically hard crap, and I want to tattoo beautiful reminders of dreams and wishes so I don't give up. So I don't grab a coat and shoes and walk out the door and never come back. So I don't face the wall and let the illness win.
wishful thinking. I am not some stupid teenager getting my current boyfriends name emblazened on skin that will later be wrinkled and saggy. I'm a middle-aged mother of six going through some freaktastically hard crap, and I want to tattoo beautiful reminders of dreams and wishes so I don't give up. So I don't grab a coat and shoes and walk out the door and never come back. So I don't face the wall and let the illness win.
Freedom. Strength, Persistence. Magic. Me.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Artsy Fartsy
As I've been sitting in bed a lot recovering from surgery, I have been feeling arty!
I have filled up a sketchbook since my first stay in the hospital, and have recently been giving myself photoshop projects as if I were in school.
Here's the cool thing: I didn't care if I failed at these projects. Failure is how I learn. So some of the following projects may make your eyes bleed, but I was working and stretching my art and design muscles that have sat dormant for toooooooo long.
I need practice with layer masking, so I played:
I wanted to practice merging different pictures onto one background. So I played:
I need practice working on layouts. So I played:
I need practice with type. So I played:
I wanted to play with fire. So I did.
And I wanted to explore other options of creation, not just the Big Bang. More like the Big Ball Of Yarn theory.
I have filled up a sketchbook since my first stay in the hospital, and have recently been giving myself photoshop projects as if I were in school.
Here's the cool thing: I didn't care if I failed at these projects. Failure is how I learn. So some of the following projects may make your eyes bleed, but I was working and stretching my art and design muscles that have sat dormant for toooooooo long.
I need practice with layer masking, so I played:
I wanted to practice merging different pictures onto one background. So I played:
I need practice working on layouts. So I played:
I need practice with type. So I played:
 |
| just because you CAN use a filter, doesn't mean you SHOULD |
I wanted to play with fire. So I did.
And I wanted to explore other options of creation, not just the Big Bang. More like the Big Ball Of Yarn theory.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
I did this art thing this one time
I have this friend. And he's one of the reasons I'm seeing a therapist - haha, no, it's because he IS a therapist and recommended one to help me deal, but you can blame him, sure. He's also directing a play, and I volunteered to help him with artwork last year when I saw him in Pirates of Penzance. (spelled correctly, of course)
So here I am, a year later, and have needed much encouragement with art because that's the one thing I gave up on completely when the depression kicked in. Thank you Lee, for having me help you, for accepting my bad days, and understanding when I shut down.
Simply: Fear sucks.
More Simply: Working through it is awesome.
Here is the basic design for his "The Mikado." I think it looks like a flannel board, which is appropriate for a play, right? :)
I keep trying to redesign this:
into a facebook cover pic for his wall:
And see? They look FINE here. They look completely pixellated and awful on FB.
So... if you see them on facebook, apparently I've forgotten how to use photoshop, because I can't for the life of me make things look right.
This would be why I'm not in web design, yes?
So here I am, a year later, and have needed much encouragement with art because that's the one thing I gave up on completely when the depression kicked in. Thank you Lee, for having me help you, for accepting my bad days, and understanding when I shut down.
Simply: Fear sucks.
More Simply: Working through it is awesome.
Here is the basic design for his "The Mikado." I think it looks like a flannel board, which is appropriate for a play, right? :)
I keep trying to redesign this:
into a facebook cover pic for his wall:
So... if you see them on facebook, apparently I've forgotten how to use photoshop, because I can't for the life of me make things look right.
This would be why I'm not in web design, yes?
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Arting through the Lows
My friend Lee was the Major General --and was FANTASTIC-- in a local community theater production of Pirates of Penzance. I told him I would do artwork for their next show, for free even, if they'd please, please, please let me help them with their backdrops. I may not be the worlds greatest artist, but, well, it's better than them not having an artist at all.
He took me up on the offer, and I've been decorating fans for the upcoming Mikado. I've finished the flowered fans for the women, now I'm working on the big buff manly-man warrior fans for the men.
This project has been a lifesaver for me. Struggling with being tired all the time, I've had to cancel all kinds of things because I have zero energy. But sitting in my chair and sketching out forms with a white colored pencil has activated my spirit in a way that is encouraging. I don't feel frustrated, or sad, or useless when I'm drawing.
So while my energy levels are still low (I seriously needed a nap after doing the first fan) this project doesn't make me feel tired on the inside. I pull out that silver Sharpie and get to work, gritting my teeth and forcing myself through the tired because I'm excited to see the finished result.
 |
| silver sharpie on black nylon |
 |
| silver sharpie on black nylon |
And nope,
these
are not my own original images, let me say that right up front. They are
a study in black and white of some very talented artists' work. Ecept
the demon. I looked at a bunch of oriental demons and came up with
something that I thought would work on a fan.
 |
| black and silver sharpie. first lines drawn in w/ white colored pencil |
Are they perfect? hardly. Will they work as props in a play? I think so. I'm not sure about that demon, though. I need to rethink some lines that blur or conflict or are maybe too thin.
At the end of the day, it's nice to be useful. And drawing with sharpie doesn't take anything out of me, leaving me feeling all used up. Instead I feel... filled? Does that make sense? Physically I'm tired, but I woke up in a happier place this morning after yesterdays Art Harder marathon. (thank you Chuck Wendig)
Thursday, August 15, 2013
A Plethora of Thoughts
On Doctors
July marked the two year anniversary of moving into this house, as well as my first ever surgery. I had my appendix removed and while they were at it, they fixed a hernia I didn't know I had and removed a cyst on my ovary. That experience is why I refuse to go to doctors now. It wasn't because of the doctor, the nurses, or the hospital. They were great. It was because of my experience recuperating. Never, ever, ever again will I put myself in a position where I can't do anything but lay in my bed for a few weeks.
July marked the two year anniversary of moving into this house, as well as my first ever surgery. I had my appendix removed and while they were at it, they fixed a hernia I didn't know I had and removed a cyst on my ovary. That experience is why I refuse to go to doctors now. It wasn't because of the doctor, the nurses, or the hospital. They were great. It was because of my experience recuperating. Never, ever, ever again will I put myself in a position where I can't do anything but lay in my bed for a few weeks.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Painting with Alcohol and Sharpies
A friend of mine is directing a local theater company's Mikado and has asked me to help him with props. I'm painting fans for the players.
I'd never painted on fabric before, and I pulled on what I'd learned from a colored pencil class in college when I learned how to use washes with colored pencils using fabric brushes and denatured alcohol. Since the fans are made out of nylon, and all the dyes and fabric markers suggest cotton, natural fibers, or a poly blend, I figured why not try it with marker. It's just as permanent as paint, right?
I'd never painted on fabric before, and I pulled on what I'd learned from a colored pencil class in college when I learned how to use washes with colored pencils using fabric brushes and denatured alcohol. Since the fans are made out of nylon, and all the dyes and fabric markers suggest cotton, natural fibers, or a poly blend, I figured why not try it with marker. It's just as permanent as paint, right?
 |
| First I colored in the border with a pink crayola marker. Does that look pink to you?? Me either. I didn't like the look at all. |
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Logos!
So in between and after various camping trips this summer, I've made a couple of logo's.
I'll share, shall I?
That monkey e there? Illustrated type. Finally, I can mark off that I've officially done it, now.
I'll share, shall I?
 |
| For Jwelr's Cakes |
 |
| for my cousin, MontE, because he capitalizes his E, and because he's Uncle Monkey :) |
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
I Guess It Went For A Walk?
So... My Wacom Tablet has decided to go for a walk, apparently. And it did not ask permission first, nor did it leave a note.
I rearranged my living room a couple of weeks ago, and in so doing, I pulled everything out of every desk, put it all on couches and chairs while I moved furniture, and then put it all back in a more organized fashion. I remember putting my tablet inside the desk 'cupboard' next to the monitor before closing the door and calling the room clean.
Today I wrote up a blog post about traveling but discovered my camera battery was dead. Since I couldn't upload pics for the blog post, I decided I'd play in Photoshop and Painter for a while. Why? Because I'm supposed to be writing, but I'm still mulling over possible next steps, and I figured ANY kind of creativity is better than a day spent doing pet battles on WoW. (And I am really in love with some of those pets, let me just tell you. Plus there's a check-list for the pet achieves, and I have a personal goal to try to find rares of each kind, and so, yeah, time-sink of wasted time I will never get back.) But I digress.
No tablet.
I am hoping that when it decides that it misses me, it will return home and we can play. I have a fire piece that needs working on, and a mouse just doesn't cut it. I guess I will sketch instead.
Does this ever happen to anyone else?
I rearranged my living room a couple of weeks ago, and in so doing, I pulled everything out of every desk, put it all on couches and chairs while I moved furniture, and then put it all back in a more organized fashion. I remember putting my tablet inside the desk 'cupboard' next to the monitor before closing the door and calling the room clean.
Today I wrote up a blog post about traveling but discovered my camera battery was dead. Since I couldn't upload pics for the blog post, I decided I'd play in Photoshop and Painter for a while. Why? Because I'm supposed to be writing, but I'm still mulling over possible next steps, and I figured ANY kind of creativity is better than a day spent doing pet battles on WoW. (And I am really in love with some of those pets, let me just tell you. Plus there's a check-list for the pet achieves, and I have a personal goal to try to find rares of each kind, and so, yeah, time-sink of wasted time I will never get back.) But I digress.
No tablet.
I am hoping that when it decides that it misses me, it will return home and we can play. I have a fire piece that needs working on, and a mouse just doesn't cut it. I guess I will sketch instead.
Does this ever happen to anyone else?
Monday, April 22, 2013
What Do I Do?
You know that moment, the one where you meet someone new and they ask, "So, what do you do?" For some reason that question was on my mind while I was mowing my lawn today, and I felt like sharing my thoughts.
My first answer: I'm a mom! Yes, with enthusiasm, because without it, somehow that title seems to be one society tells me I should be ashamed of. Well. *hands on hips* I have six kids, but even if I only had one, it wouldn't change my opinion of the job. It's not an easy job, not by any means, but it's a job I volunteered for for life. As for what that entails, let me tell you some of it.
I do yardwork. I don't love yardwork. I find it relaxing when I *want* to do it, but mostly I wish the yard would take care of itself. Take today, for instance. I asked my kids why they didn't play on the swing-set anymore, and my nine year old informed me that it was because the vines were too scary. After mowing the grass around and under the swing-set, yep, there's a scary vine growing there. Very pokey-owie mean vine, that I argued with for a couple of hours convincing it that it would like the compost heap much better than the swing-set. My 4 year old son was all over the swings and slide as soon as I'd cleared the way.
I do counseling. I have six kids who don't always get along. But not only do they have sibling issues, but they have friend issues and school issues and grade issues and worries about the future and dreams and hopes and all kinds of things that they like to share and tell. Mostly I just listen, but sometimes I dispense advice. Sometimes they even listen to it. Once in a while they spark something I feel passionate about, and they have to tell me to get off my soap-box because I won't stop talking. I'm not sure those moments serve any purpose other than for me to realize I like to talk.
There are a bazillion other things that fall under the large umbrella of motherhood, but everyone already knows the chauffeur, cook, maid, organizer, slave driver, librarian, reader of books, and teacher titles. Mostly I forget things and then run to play catch-up because I've forgotten something important.
I also do non-mommy related things.
I have an art degree. I do portraits because I LOVE to draw people. There's something about eyes and lips and ears that I just love. And wrinkles. I don't get a lot of commissions for portraits, but I do get quite a few commissions for caricatures. I volunteer for all kinds of art things in the community and church so that I stay in practice with software. I figure if I spent all that time learning skills, I'd better not lose them.
I do footzoning. I certified in this about seven years ago and just recently my clientelle has started to pick up. I even have enough clients now that I have to keep a calendar in my purse so I can remember when I have appointments! This is exciting stuff for me!
I talk. A lot. I think there's something about being home with a four-year-old that makes me never shut up when I'm on the phone or in a car with an adult. Or at a friend's house. My poor friends :)
I write. I love to read, and I love to write. I sit and write when I am avoiding any of the above listed jobs. Because let's face it, chores and cleaning and yardwork are really never done. And there are so many story ideas that come while I'm puttering around the house, or listening to the crazy things my kids say. This world is incredible when it comes to inspiration. Writing is another way for me to talk without annoying everyone that I know and love. I posted an excerpt once.
There's always a to-do list longer than I am tall (and I'm not short), so I prioritize based on what sounds fun that day or what will impact my kids the most if I don't do it. Daughter wet the bed? Well, crap, I'm doing laundry and washing a mattress instead of catching up on blog posts and twitter.
I love what I do. I may not always do it as well as I'd like, but I keep doing it hoping that eventually I'll get better. No one has told me to stop yet (er, well, no one I actually listen to). I tell myself more than often enough that I need to do better. But now I've managed to answer to myself what I do and how I value what I do. I expect there are plenty of people out there who value things differently, and that's awesome. It would sure be boring if we were all clones.
My first answer: I'm a mom! Yes, with enthusiasm, because without it, somehow that title seems to be one society tells me I should be ashamed of. Well. *hands on hips*
I do yardwork. I don't love yardwork. I find it relaxing when I *want* to do it, but mostly I wish the yard would take care of itself. Take today, for instance. I asked my kids why they didn't play on the swing-set anymore, and my nine year old informed me that it was because the vines were too scary. After mowing the grass around and under the swing-set, yep, there's a scary vine growing there. Very pokey-owie mean vine, that I argued with for a couple of hours convincing it that it would like the compost heap much better than the swing-set. My 4 year old son was all over the swings and slide as soon as I'd cleared the way.
 |
| We put the swingset in front of snuffalupogus here... It's a high-maintenance spot. |
I do counseling. I have six kids who don't always get along. But not only do they have sibling issues, but they have friend issues and school issues and grade issues and worries about the future and dreams and hopes and all kinds of things that they like to share and tell. Mostly I just listen, but sometimes I dispense advice. Sometimes they even listen to it. Once in a while they spark something I feel passionate about, and they have to tell me to get off my soap-box because I won't stop talking. I'm not sure those moments serve any purpose other than for me to realize I like to talk.
There are a bazillion other things that fall under the large umbrella of motherhood, but everyone already knows the chauffeur, cook, maid, organizer, slave driver, librarian, reader of books, and teacher titles. Mostly I forget things and then run to play catch-up because I've forgotten something important.
I also do non-mommy related things.
I have an art degree. I do portraits because I LOVE to draw people. There's something about eyes and lips and ears that I just love. And wrinkles. I don't get a lot of commissions for portraits, but I do get quite a few commissions for caricatures. I volunteer for all kinds of art things in the community and church so that I stay in practice with software. I figure if I spent all that time learning skills, I'd better not lose them.
I do footzoning. I certified in this about seven years ago and just recently my clientelle has started to pick up. I even have enough clients now that I have to keep a calendar in my purse so I can remember when I have appointments! This is exciting stuff for me!
I talk. A lot. I think there's something about being home with a four-year-old that makes me never shut up when I'm on the phone or in a car with an adult. Or at a friend's house. My poor friends :)
I write. I love to read, and I love to write. I sit and write when I am avoiding any of the above listed jobs. Because let's face it, chores and cleaning and yardwork are really never done. And there are so many story ideas that come while I'm puttering around the house, or listening to the crazy things my kids say. This world is incredible when it comes to inspiration. Writing is another way for me to talk without annoying everyone that I know and love. I posted an excerpt once.
There's always a to-do list longer than I am tall (and I'm not short), so I prioritize based on what sounds fun that day or what will impact my kids the most if I don't do it. Daughter wet the bed? Well, crap, I'm doing laundry and washing a mattress instead of catching up on blog posts and twitter.
I love what I do. I may not always do it as well as I'd like, but I keep doing it hoping that eventually I'll get better. No one has told me to stop yet (er, well, no one I actually listen to). I tell myself more than often enough that I need to do better. But now I've managed to answer to myself what I do and how I value what I do. I expect there are plenty of people out there who value things differently, and that's awesome. It would sure be boring if we were all clones.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Too much is too much
Apparently there is a "Nope, too much" setting in my brain.
March was Girl Scout cookie month, and with that came a lot of stress and a lot of time out of doors in cold weather. With stress comes a lowering of my inner defenses, and so the inevitable thing that followed was getting sick. Which got worse because I refused to believe I was sick.
And I had a deadline for an art commission. And as per my previous post, was dealing with lots of fear.
So April started, and with it CampNaNo, which I had signed up for because I can do anything, right? Why not be able to write, edit, and draw, as well as try to maintain the house and track my kids and do Girl Scouts and everything else? My brain, on the other hand, said, "Oh, you want to write, too?? Yeah... no. Let's work through this fear and finish these drawings before we do much of anything else. And hey, how about getting over this cough?"
I am happy to report the drawings are done as of yesterday. Looking at the pictures I see soooo many things I'd fix or change, but there comes a point when when I have to say, "It's as done as I can get it done, and I can accept this level of doneness." Re-working a picture too much just ruins it.
My head is finally clear, the cough is an afterthought now instead of all-consuming. And hey, my characters are now talking to me again and I have enough energy to go pick up the house.
It's two weeks in, Camp Nano is well on its way and a couple of my bunk-mates are over half done with their monthly goals, which is awesome!! Yay for them!! Today is April 16th, I'm starting today!! Better late than never, right? I'll get written what I get written. It may not be my original goal, but I will make progress.
I may not be able to do as much as I think I can, especially when sick. But it seems I'm happier when I listen to my body and do what I CAN do. And happy is good. :)
Here are pics of the 18x24 charcoal portraits I've been working so hard on the last month. No, it doesn't take me that long to finish a piece, it takes me about 2-4 hours per face. It's been an interesting thing, this project, because it's a church thing. And I really didn't want to mess it up, so I had to talk myself into drawing, and convince myself to sit down and do it, and I had to have faith that I *could* do it, because I really was that nervous about failing. And that was what took up most of the time: convincing myself to do it. That being said, I'm glad I did it.
I'm extremely nervous about putting these up, but here they are anyway. Women of the Book of Mormon.
March was Girl Scout cookie month, and with that came a lot of stress and a lot of time out of doors in cold weather. With stress comes a lowering of my inner defenses, and so the inevitable thing that followed was getting sick. Which got worse because I refused to believe I was sick.
And I had a deadline for an art commission. And as per my previous post, was dealing with lots of fear.
So April started, and with it CampNaNo, which I had signed up for because I can do anything, right? Why not be able to write, edit, and draw, as well as try to maintain the house and track my kids and do Girl Scouts and everything else? My brain, on the other hand, said, "Oh, you want to write, too?? Yeah... no. Let's work through this fear and finish these drawings before we do much of anything else. And hey, how about getting over this cough?"
I am happy to report the drawings are done as of yesterday. Looking at the pictures I see soooo many things I'd fix or change, but there comes a point when when I have to say, "It's as done as I can get it done, and I can accept this level of doneness." Re-working a picture too much just ruins it.
My head is finally clear, the cough is an afterthought now instead of all-consuming. And hey, my characters are now talking to me again and I have enough energy to go pick up the house.
It's two weeks in, Camp Nano is well on its way and a couple of my bunk-mates are over half done with their monthly goals, which is awesome!! Yay for them!! Today is April 16th, I'm starting today!! Better late than never, right? I'll get written what I get written. It may not be my original goal, but I will make progress.
I may not be able to do as much as I think I can, especially when sick. But it seems I'm happier when I listen to my body and do what I CAN do. And happy is good. :)
Here are pics of the 18x24 charcoal portraits I've been working so hard on the last month. No, it doesn't take me that long to finish a piece, it takes me about 2-4 hours per face. It's been an interesting thing, this project, because it's a church thing. And I really didn't want to mess it up, so I had to talk myself into drawing, and convince myself to sit down and do it, and I had to have faith that I *could* do it, because I really was that nervous about failing. And that was what took up most of the time: convincing myself to do it. That being said, I'm glad I did it.
I'm extremely nervous about putting these up, but here they are anyway. Women of the Book of Mormon.
 |
| Mothers of the Stripling Warriors |
 |
| Daughters of the Lamanites |
 |
| Queen "Lamoni" (because she doesn't have a name) |
 |
| Abish (Queen Lamoni's servant) - this pic was taken before it was finished. |
 | |
| Sariah |
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