Ick. Money issues suck

There's a long story behind my life at this point, but for the next little while, I'm the parent who gets to pay child support.

For those in the know about why I'm getting divorced, I'll just say that he asked quite strongly for the opportunity to actually BE a dad. In order for him to make that possible, I felt he needed to be the full-time parent. Because if he is going to really do it, really be there for them, my children deserve that. My young ones aren't happy about it, not happy about the divorce itself, but it is what it is.

Aaaaaaanyway

My divorce isn't even final yet, but ORS has gotten involved. They have decided the amount determined by Davis County Court system's online help system is about $100 too little per paycheck.  AND they objected to the way we'd agreed to handle healthcare for the kids. No, I don't have to pay all of it, but I do have to pay half.

This sounds like I'm a horrible mother who doesn't want to take care of her babies. That is not the case. What IS the case is that this impacts my ability to pay rent and buy groceries and pay utilities so that I can live.

When my kids come over, I need to have the funds to buy the extra groceries. I need to be able to buy them shoes and pumpkins for school projects and things that sometimes get overlooked.

I was just given the quote for my health insurance, and I'm not going to lie - I'm panicking a bit. Money issues always make me panic. Especially when it threatens having a roof over my head.

There's nothing like the memory of being evicted in the middle of a Wyoming blizzard at the age of 10 with nowhere to go but the car to make current reality hard to resolve.

My roommate continues to tell me it's going to be ok. He's done the math and shown me. He's not wrong. But my feels don't agree with the logic.

Ever have that issue?